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On a dating site, your love life can be forever changed in a split second. But we try to keep that out of mind as we spend an average of 77 minutes each day swiping away. The profiles flying past our eyes don’t have much time to wow us. Someone either looks good, or they don’t. Someone sounds smart, or they don’t. You want someone, or you don’t.
If you’re like me, you kinda assume that everyone else will spend a little more time on your own profile. Because, you’re worth it! Right? You think that your amazing taste in books and music will attract people who ‘just get it.’ You assume the guy (or girl) of your dreams will swipe right immediately when they find you.
But, are we actually just kidding ourselves?
Are we really a super desirable dream catch just because we are who we are? Or do we actually need a little help presenting ourselves?
Dating sites, try as they might, can’t help but feel a little like shopping. And every product you buy has tons of marketing dollars pushing the best version of itself into your shopping cart. Our dating profiles should be no different. And while you might not have a team of marketing geniuses making you look like the next Kate Upton, there are some things you can do to supercharge your profile!
Get Those Photos On Point!
Probably the most important part of your profile is your picture. You’ve got to look good, keep those brows on point, and really give yourself an opportunity to show off your personality. So why are there so many bad profile photos out there??
How many profiles have you swiped past where you know the person is trying so hard to be funny and they just… aren’t? Or when guys think you’ll be into their lame shirtless bathroom selfie. Sorry but I need a little more than a badly-lit shot of your six-pack mister, hard pass.
I just kinda get the impression that some users are trying so hard in all the wrong ways. Blurry, obscured body shots and super high angle close-ups are their own circle of hell in my book. Don’t use them, seriously. There are better ways to hide your worst traits than lazily phoning in your profile photo. Get creative!
Show Off That Quirk!
Let’s be honest, most people (man or woman) want to date someone fun. So, I focus on presenting my personality just as much as my appearance. Highlighting your interests in your photo works great, and shows that you’re enthusiastic about something instead of just looking sassy in a mirror (unless that’s one of your interests, no judging, do your thing, girl!).
You can suggest a date idea just by what you’re doing in your pictures! Horseback riding in your pic? Expect a few horseback riding dates in your future! Taking a ceramics class? Grab a cute Ghost-inspired photo of you at the wheel! You’ll probably get a hot guy asking if you’d like to recreate that moment! Give the guy of your dreams a little something to work with as he swipes past your profile.
Don’t attempt to hide your quirk! Studies have shown that conventionally attractive people do worse with online dating, so don’t try to blend into the pack. Got buck teeth? Always have to wear glasses? Don’t hide that! Use it to stand out from the crowd! Showing off yourself with pride and confidence will help you go way further than just trying to look hot.
Showing other people in your photos can become a little confusing, especially if you don’t have one good photo of just you. And you don’t want to confuse other users by including any photos with a sexy guy or girl by your side. You don’t want to give off any threat signals that ward off any great matches. You don’t want to miss meeting the potential love of your life because they think you’re just looking for a side fling.
You should also stay away from those super-tightly-cropped sliver photos. You know the type that shows you out at a club, but clearly cuts out someone you don’t want shown? Yeah, people pick up on that. You don’t want them thinking they, too, could eventually be cut out of your memories.
Now on to your bio!
So, same as before, you want to show a little enthusiasm! In fact, a study out of University of British Columbia in 2011 revealed what emotion each of the sexes find attractive in a potential mate. The results paint an interesting picture. Women want men who show pride above all else. Men, on the other hand, want a woman who is happy.
Hopefully, your pictures all show you beaming, and that trend shouldn’t stop in your bio! Now, I’m not saying you need to come off like gushing preteen who just won’t shut up about Bieber
Conversation Bait
Your bio should provide conversation-starting bait. Dive into the specifics of your interests. Everybody likes pizza, but if your favorite joint serves the best slice in town, maybe challenge someone in your bio to prove you wrong! Give a leading hint about a great life story surrounding your interest. Adding a simple “Ask me about the time I nearly choked to death on a slice of Giordano’s deep dish!” will give interested matches plenty to reference when writing an introductory message.
Tinder, in particular, gives you some neat dynamic advantages when you input your job and education into your profile. You will be alerted when you are about to swipe past someone who went to your same school or works at the same company! Personally, I think you might want to skip on co-workers as romantic partners, but hey, if you’re feeling desperate…why not?!
One word of caution. Avoid using your bio to outline negatives. Don’t waste time discussing things you don’t like, or people you don’t want to message you. You don’t want to to present yourself as a jaded online dater who is trying to protect themselves from getting hurt again by outlining a long list of deal-breakers.
Your online dating profile is your love business card. It’s your romantic resume. You want to show off your best assets and with my tips, hopefully, you’re a little closer to finding the love of your life! Happy swiping!
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