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Best of Clickbait is our roundup of the most bizarre and entertaining hate-reads, confessions, rants and reporting from around the web each week.
Enjoy!
1. A Folding Robot Made of Pig Parts that Removes Batteries From Stomachs with Magnets
Published on TechCrunch by Brian Heater
I know that headline doesn’t seem to make much sense, but stay with me. A joint team from MIT, University of Sheffield, and Tokyo Institute of Technology have created a tiny robot out of pig intestines.
What could the purpose of a tiny robot made of pig intestines possibly be, you ask?
Well, it comes in handy if you’ve accidentally swallowed a watch battery—which is far more common than you would expect. The robot is designed to be swallowed as a capsule, and once inside the stomach, it unfolds and guides itself using magnets, which also help it attach to the battery. Surely, this is just the first step on the road to the creation of bacon AI.
I got rid of my nipples and I’m selling them. My belly button necklace is coming soon too
pic.twitter.com/9YmcgQ8xG5
— Karim Boumjimar (@BEIGETYPE) May 5, 2016
2. Teen Artist Removes his Nipples and Belly Button, Sells Them as Art
Published on Mashable by Heather Dockray
Being an artist these days is tough—the art market is super competitive and collectors are always after something new. Karim Boumjimar has got the jump on his fellow artists (and generated much-needed viral content) by surgically removing his nipples and selling them as art.
Reportedly inspired by da Vinci’s Mona Lisa (who was painted without eyebrows), Boumjimar has turned his nipples into earrings that resemble pieces of dried mango. According to his Instagram account, he plans to also remove his belly button, which he will turn into a necklace. At this stage it is still unclear whether the stunt is real or an elaborate hoax (images posted to the artist’s Instagram could easily have been Photoshopped).
What’s the motivation behind all this? To quote the artist, “Narcissism is my main medium. That’s what I have been doing and that’s what I’m going to do… My Instagram is just about me and that’s how I want it to be.” Deep.
3. Fake Indie Sex Tapes
Published on Jezebel by Anna Merlan
If you were browsing Twitter on Monday, you may have seen the hashtag “YACHT” trending. No, it wasn’t just a nice day to go sailing. The Los Angeles based indie rock band Yacht announced that a private sextape (the band is a duo who are also a couple) had been leaked and was now doing the rounds on various tube sites. In attempt to gain something from the disaster, the band were now selling the sextape for $5 on their own website–pleading with fans to buy it from them if they must watch it.
The internet was mystified—first, most people had never heard of these guys, second, there was something a little fishy about the whole thing. Regardless, everyone from the LA Times to Jezebel dutifully reported it. The tide quickly turned, and by Tuesday it was revealed that the whole thing was a cynical marketing ploy for their new song I Wanna Fuck You Til I’m Dead.
It worked, but maybe not in the way they expected—for the next few days they were well and truly roasted by everyone and their dog. Hell hath no fury like a clickbait site scorned, and Jezebel came out swinging—accusing the duo of exploiting victims of revenge porn—there was guilt and shame aplenty. Never mind that Jezebel’s parent company has a sordid history when it comes to sextapes. Hulk Hogan lawsuit anyone…?
4. Poop Job
Published on Elite Daily by Anna Menta
Any avid reader of clickbait knows that shitting yourself is a tried and true staple of the genre. Every serious clickbait journalist will have to write at least one story about shitting themselves in their lifetime, and the more humiliating the better. Thankfully for Anna Menta, this one presented itself via Reddit, so she didn’t actually have to experience it herself. Long story short: man accidentally shits all over his one night stand when he climaxes after a blow job.
5. We’re All Going to Die
Published on The Atlantic by Robinson Meyer
Look, most of us believe in climate change. We support policies to curb emissions about bring about a greener future. But is sounding the trumpets of the apocalypse every week really doing any good? In fact, crazy hyperbolic arguments might even be doing more to harm the cause than help. This week, Robinson Meyer weighed in, arguing—based on some interesting data—that we now have more chance of being killed by a “human extinction event” than we do by a car crash. Sometimes that headline is just too good to resist…
6. This Guy Woke Up From A 48-Day Coma and Immediately Asked For Taco Bell
Published on Elite Daily by Alec MacDonald
If you believe all those Hollywood films, waking up from a coma is a touching moment where—after traveling to the afterlife and being told, “It’s not your time”—we return to our Earthly bodies, surrounded by loving family members. Cue emotional strings and tears of joy; a ray of sunlight penetrates the clouds.
In reality however, people in comas are just pissed that they’re missing out on Taco Bell, like Jake Booth, who requested that very plasticky deliciousness when he woke up from a 48-day coma. Unfortunately for Jake, he wasn’t in any state to down a Double Decker Taco Supreme right then, but his family made sure he got one when he’d fully recovered. Now that’s touching.
7. Adventures of a Phone Sex Operator
Published on Marie Claire by Lea Grover
Let’s face it, it’s a cliché but we just can’t resist clicking on those sordid phone sex operator stories and laughing (or grimacing) at their tales of awkward, depraved phone encounters. “The best money was in being a psychic,” says Lea, “but I didn’t think I could fake it. The idea of lying to people who might actually be looking for help or comfort made me uncomfortable. Horny dudes looking to get off? Those were people I didn’t mind exploiting.”
Header image credit: Shocked that I’m quitting Facebook by Rafiq Sarlie (CC BY-ND 2.0)
