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Spring is here! Love is in the air. What better time to turn to your love and pop the question?
Yes, the flowers are blooming, birds chirping, and life is emerging from the deep freeze. What better time to propose? Of course, all that love in the air doesn’t mean your significant other is going to say yes. Review Weekly celebrates National Proposal Day by taking a look at a few embarrassingly botched proposals.
1. The Halftime Half-Court Rejection
The spectacle of a marriage proposal is more or less required for any good engagement story. If you have a boring first-met story, you’ve got to really outdo yourself when you pop the question. Met at a bar? Better propose while skydiving! Met through friends? What a snooze! Find a way to work explosions into your proposal, you loungeabout!
This seems to be why halftime half-court proposals are a thing. Popping the question in front of a sea of strangers might sound like a recipe for disaster, but hey, you should’ve met your lady doing refugee humanitarian work instead of striking up a conversation in line at McDonalds. So now your hands are tied and you’ve got to reach for a clutch proposal plan.
This poor sap now has a great story…. Of humiliation! Sometimes we get so swept up in planning the perfect proposal, we might forget to ensure that she’ll agree.
2. Paddle Boat Butter Fingers
This proposal plan looked like it had a good chance of becoming a wonderful moment surrounded by friends. Unfortunately, paddle boats are not the most stable seafaring craft, and when time came to brandish the ring, the fiance-to-be fumbled. The ring tumbled. And his reaction as he watched three-month’s salary disappear into the muddy water will make everyone groan in pity.
Having your friends help participate in popping the question is a great idea! Just remember your chosen venue’s hurdles. If there’s a chance that ring could go falling, flying or otherwise disappearing, consider tying it to a small piece of fishing wire. Might make sliding the ring on her finger a little more tricky, but that’s far better than experiencing the look on this poor guy’s face as he watches his proposal vanish before his eyes.
3. The Mid-Mall Proposal Smackdown
Grabbing the microphone of a consumer-grade karaoke machine at a bustling mall is exactly how this fellow decides to declare undying love to his lady.
Two problems with this idea.
One, you must always remember to check the kiddie train schedule for departures in that area. And two, maybe pay a little better attention to the nonverbal signals that your lady is giving you to stop what you’re doing immediately. Because, in the end, she kinda has the final say in your brazen attempt at showmanship. And this guy ended up taking a hard lesson in how to play the ukulele by ear! Luckily the janitor was nearby to mop up his tears.
4. A News Reporter “Helps” Proposal
So you’ve decided to propose! Congratulations! But take a moment to consider who you tell before actually popping the question. A close personal friend? Maybe. A parent? Sure, perhaps. A news reporter about to interview you live on TV? Let’s shelve that one.
In a post-game interview, this star player kept his lady by his side as he spoke about his team’s victory. The reporter then segued, as you do, by revealing the player’s intent to propose, as you shouldn’t. Awkward smiles all around as Johnny Football dropped to one knee. Luckily she took it in stride and said yes!
5. Christmastime Rejection!
They say you don’t marry the person, you marry the family. This might explain why this unfortunate fool tried so hard to rouse all three generations of the family’s attention at Christmas. From the start, he sounded uncertain. Stumbling, muttering, he worked his way through the boilerplate list of thanks.
Sadly, his dreams were dashed as the lucky lady saw herself a little more single in the immediate future. Merry Christmas, indeed!
